Ah, the innocent request: *"Hey, can you just take a quick look at this code?"* Sounds harmless, right? Like asking someone to glance at a grocery list or skim a meme. But little do you know, you’ve just unleashed a chain reaction of chaos, obsession, and existential despair. ### <br>**Phase 1: The False Promise of "Quick"** The programmer nods confidently. *"Sure, just a sec."* They crack their knuckles, open the file, and—BAM—they’re immediately sucked into the digital equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle. That "quick look" is now a multi-day expedition into the depths of legacy code, where variables are named like `temp3_final_v2_actual` and comments say things like *"DO NOT TOUCH THIS (trust me)"*. ### <br>**Phase 2: The Sudden Realization of Doom** Five minutes in, their face contorts. *"Why is there a nested loop inside a recursive function that calls an API that’s been deprecated since 2010?"* They try to look away, but it’s too late. The code has them now. They start muttering things like, *"Who hurt you?"* and *"This isn’t programming; this is a cry for help."* ### <br>**Phase 3: The Unplanned Refactor** Against all better judgment, the programmer decides to *"just fix this one thing."* Suddenly, they’re rewriting the entire module, adding unit tests, and debating whether to use tabs or spaces (knowing full well this will start a holy war in the office). Three hours later, they’ve accidentally invented a new programming language just to make the original code *slightly* more readable. ### <br>**Phase 4: The Existential Crisis** By now, the programmer is questioning their life choices. *"Why did I agree to this? Why does this codebase hate me? Is this how Skynet began?"* They’ve gone through all five stages of grief, including bargaining (*"Maybe if I delete this whole file, no one will notice?"*) and acceptance (*"Fine. I’ll document it. But I’m not happy about it."*). ### <br>**Phase 5: The Return (But Changed Forever)** Finally, they emerge from their coding trance, eyes bloodshot, clutching a 50-line commit message that starts with *"So, funny story…"* They hand back the keyboard and whisper, *"It’s… better now. But at what cost?"* And that, dear friend, is why you never ask a programmer to *"just take a quick look."* Because there’s no such thing—only an all-consuming quest for justice in an unjust codebase. **Moral of the story:** If you want a programmer to *actually* take a quick look, bribe them with coffee and pray they don’t find anything. Otherwise, prepare for the inevitable descent into madness. 😆